I know, I know, bah humbug and all that, but Valentine’s Day is something I really hate. Ok, maybe hate is a strong word, but I really, really dislike it.
Firstly, before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I’m not a man-hating misery guts and I don’t hate Valentine’s Day because I’m lonely.
Yes, I am single, but I actually prefer being single on Valentine’s Day – it means I don’t have to have an argument about how the fact I refuse to acknowledge it is not a reflection of the relationship but a reflection of my thoughts on the day itself.
And I avoid the guilty feeling I get when I genuinely don’t buy them anything (like I told them I wasn’t going to) and they thought it was one of those moments where I say I’m not going to do something, but actually I am and I expect them to as well, and they do.
Writing that makes me realise how little any of my exes have actually known me. I’m not one of those girls who play mind games – if I say don’t buy me something, I mean don’t buy me something – it’s not a test and I don’t get mad if you take me at face value.
Anyway, I’ve gone off topic. I’ve told you why I don’t hate Valentine’s Day, now I will tell you why I do.
I hate how commercialised it is. I know just about everything is commercialised these days (you can’t blame retailers, if there was no demand, there would be no supply), but Valentine’s Day is different.
It is plugged as a day to spoil your girlfriend/wife. The entire concept seems to be aimed at making women look like gold diggers. All the under tones of “she won’t be happy if you don’t spend a month’s pay check on her”.
Quite frankly, I find it insulting.
The average woman doesn’t want you to spend money to say you love her, she wants you to show you love her.
Which leads me to my next point. Why that one day? Why is that the day that you should show your partner you love and appreciate them (whether monetary or not)? Why not show them that everyday?
Does a weekend in Paris really make up for a year of being second best, a year of being ignored and a year of arguing? Of course it doesn’t, but some people really seem to think it’s enough.
Why not show each other you love each all year round with the little gestures that mean so much more than the extravagant gift?
Valentine’s Day for me all feels a bit fake. Like you’re making this grand gesture because the world expects you to. The same gesture would mean so much more if it was done out of spontaneity and love on a day where it wasn’t expected.
It’s also a lot of pressure to get it right. It feels like a bit make or break, especially for new couples, and who needs all that added pressure.
Going back to my point about Valentine’s Day being insulting to women, I’m an equal opportunities ranter and I think the charmingly named (ok hilariously named but that loses the tone of the rant a little) steak and blow job day is kind of insulting to men.
Are we really still at a point where we think every man is only interested in meat and oral sex? And just once a year? Really?
So let’s forget about doing the socially accepted thing of going out for an over priced meal, and show your someone special that they are special to you everyday of the year.
And don’t even get me started on Desperation Day.
The one thing I do love about Valentine’s Day? February 15th, aka half price chocolate day 🙂
Valentine’s Day – Do you love it or hate it? Do you agree with me or do you think I’m cynical? Let me know in the comments 🙂
You can find me here: Twitter Facebook Bloglovin Pinterest and Instagram Please do stop by and say hi!
Lol j wrote about this today. I don’t hate it as it is a nice excuse to spend some time together and maybe have a meal. However, I hate the commercials side…buying a card for your dog?! Xx #binkylinky
I’m not a Valentine’s fan either. Commercial rubbish 🙂 #binkylinky lifeinthemumslane
I’m glad I’m not the only one lol 🙂
It’s funny because I usually totally agree, but this year I have decided to go with it and have bit of fun. My hubby would totally hate me spending money on him, so I decided to do it my own way. For this week leading up to Valentines I have been texting him a gift each day. A couple of days have been pics of me telling him how lucky he is to have me as his awesome wife and that I love him. Other days have been pics of Valentines thing. One day I was in a store where they had a display of love heart shaped balloons so I took a photo and messaged him. Another day I took a pic of a card and sent him that. I have one of a teddy bear to text tomorrow, and a funny star wars card for on the actual day. So I am cheating and not spending anything, but having fun! We have great relationship so we do share our love everyday, but I thought why should only teenagers get the fun this year? #binklinky
Ok, I’m not a total cynic because I absolutely love that idea. It’s a fun way to celebrate and creates your own little world rather than spending a ton of money 🙂
I definitely don’t hate valentines day – but we don’t do much for it usually. We don’t buy gifts for each other as it’s only 2 weeks after my birthday (although I do occasionally get a bunch of flowers) we tend to stay in, order a pizza and watch a film. We certainly don’t go all out like some people – I love my husband every day… not just valentines day! #BinkyLinky
Now the movie and pizza night I could go for because it’s about spending time with each other rather than being about money. Have a good one 🙂
It’s never really been a big deal for me – my mum’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day so we usually do something for that instead. We do couple’s stuff on St Dwynwen’s day instead which is a) cheaper and b) speaks to our welshness. 🙂 #effitfriday
Great idea as it’s a chance to celebrate your culture too 🙂 and like you say, much cheaper for the exact same thing!
I carry some old V Day wounds from when I was married (my husband passed away) and I don’t really enjoy thinking about it at all, which stinks because it’s EVERYWHERE. Let’s just fast forward to the half priced candy and I’ll be ok.
I’m really sorry to hear about your husband, this must be an awful time of the year for you. Not long until it’s over!
I agree – it’s soooo commercialized! I just wrote my post for Sunday & I say the same thing in it. I enjoy the I love you’s but the commercialism makes it all a bit forced. #effitfriday x
Not a huge fan of Valentines, no. (SIgh!) It’s nice to have someone this year, but the obligartoriness of it all adds stress and creates incentives to kitchy creepyness.
Yeah I agree about the creepiness! It all just feels so fake
I’m not super into Valentines day. My husband and I give each other a card but that’s about it. My mum’s birthday is on Valentines day so my whole childhood it was her day ahah x
Oh she must have had a nightmare getting a reservation anywhere for a birthday night out! Happy birthday to her for tomorrow 🙂 x
I used to hate valentines day when I was single, it was just another miserable reminder that I was on my own. Then when I met my now husband, our first valentines day was super romantic and I embraced all things “valentines” and relished in being a couple for the first time in several years. Then the kids came along and now we barely even remember to buy eachother a card, and I am back to hating it because 1, it IS just a money making scheme and 2, I know that my FB will be full of women posting photos of their beautiful gifts and flowers and romantic meals out and part of me will feel slightly resentful that all I got was a crappy card!!! #binkylinky
When you feel like that, take a look at your beautiful children and try to remember that they are the best gift of all. Or remind your hubby you want flowers lol 🙂
Im not overly bothered by valentines day, I will get Mr AD a card but nothing else. What amazes me is how it seems to be turning into a family thing!!! How to treat your family on valentines day, valentines gifts for your kids…wtf!!!!
Yeah I’ve noticed that a lot this year. Everyday is kids day, it would be nice to have a day that’s about the grown ups if you are a parent I would imagine. Surely as a kid it’s pretty cringe having your parents buy you a Valentine’s gift!
My husband and I just buy each other a card. I do think it’s a bit daft spending a lot of money on chocolates, flowers etc just for one day. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
Exactly, all that money could surely have a better use, especially when you have children. Thanks for hosting 🙂
It’s just another day to be honest great post very honest thanks for linking to the Binkylinky
Yeah it is just another day. Thank you and thanks for hosting 🙂
Thought Of The Week - Week 14 (Valentine's Edition) - My Random Musings
[…] to the Valentine’s edition of thought of the week. Considering I wrote a post on Friday about why I hate Valentine’s Day, this might come as a surprise to some of you. Let me explain. I hate the commercialisation of […]
I am not a believer in Valentine’s Day either. In fact, the only reason I even decided to celebrate it this year was because of my oldest son, who really just didn’t understand why I would hate a day that promotes love so I did something different this year and celebrated it with my kids. I saw that you and Tracey don’t really understand that idea but here’s my view on it…I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day with my kids until this year and I am having more fun celebrating with them than I ever did with a man. I am single and I intend to stay that way for as long as possible so why not celebrate it with my kids. They are the most important people in the world to me and my boys were so thankful to be woken up this morning with a surprise from me. They didn’t expect it and seeing the happy surprises on their faces is worth more to me than anything else Valentine’s Day could ever offer. Best of all I didn’t have to be extravagant or break my bank. I just bought them a few small things, made their gift boxes and when they woke up this morning, I gave them something they weren’t expecting. The rest of the day has been just lounging around the house and watching some movies. Later on tonight, after they go to sleep I will do something for myself but I am enjoying my day with my kids and I am in 100% agreement with you that in a relationship, love and appreciation for your significant other should be all year round and not on one day. It just seems not genuine to me.
I hope you didn’t find what I said offensive, I’m an each to their own kind and if you want to celebrate with your kids I would never tell you not to. I was just speaking from memory that I would have been mortified if my mum bought me a Valentine’s Day gift, but maybe times are changing! The way you describe it, celebrating it with your kids actually sounds kind of sweet.
I saw a quote on Facebook I quite liked – “If you only treat you woman like a Queen on Valentine’s Day, you are failing 364 days of the year.” Summed it up nicely for me 🙂
Desperation Day…LOL…Agree about half priced chocolates on the 15th! A well written post- I was nodding my head along! We don’t particularly do Valentine’s Day because everything is overpriced on this day! Not worth it. A quiet acknowledgement will suffice. #BinkyLinky
Thank you 🙂 I’m actually surprised at how many people have said they agree, I was expecting to get torn limb from limb lol!
Totally not a lover. I also hate how much things go up in price for that one day – when you are squeezed in with so many other people. Overhearing conversations? I can’t think of anything less romantic!
Yeah, it’s awful like a cattle market! It’s shocking how places give you a standard menu, call it a Valentine’s menu and double the price!
I do agree that there is so much hype for one day and it’s got so much expectation. The hubby and I have never really celebrated it apart from a nice meal at home. Thank you for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
Yes, the pressure is just blown out of all proportion. I think you two have the right idea 🙂 Thanks for hosting x
A Cynic's Guide to Valentine's Day - My Random Musings
[…] written before about why I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day (hint: it’s a massive commercialised rip off). I also can’t help but think that if your […]