I don’t know if this is just a blogger thing, or if it’s happening to everyone, but lately, social media seems to be just a constant barrage of unwanted sales pitches and even more unwanted pervy messages.
I think Instagram and Linked In are the worst for unwanted sales pitches and Instagram is definitely the worst one for perverted messages. It’s got to the point where whenever I see message requests on Instagram, I know it’s going to be one or the other.
The sales pitches usually jump straight in there – “Hi complete stranger, buy my shit”. Ok, they are slightly more sophisticated than that, but the message I read is the same. If you do this, just stop. It irritates people and turns them off your brand before they even know what you’re about.
The ones who send the pervy messages (which I still haven’t worked out if they get off on, or if they really think women are dumb enough to fall for them and send them money) usually start simpler with a hi or a hello beautiful or hello pretty (this one always makes me think of T-Bag talking to Michael on Prison Break – anyone else?).
In any given day, I usually delete at least ten of the above types of messages.
So, How Is This Making Me Cynical?
It’s gotten to the point where social media is making me less social because I just can’t be bothered with wading through sales pitches and perverts. I love connecting with like minded people, and I try not to let this negativity over shadow that, but it’s hard some days.
If someone I don’t know sends me a message that says nothing more than hi or hi how are you, I just delete it. Maybe they were genuine and just wanted to connect, but the cynic in me says that accepting the message request is just going to end up with me regretting it. And so I delete it.
It’s even got to the point where if a stranger asks me a question about myself on social media my immediate thought is why, what are going to try and sell me? I do still respond to questions as often this isn’t the case and I recognise that most people are genuinely trying to make connections and not just spam me.
When someone follows me on Instagram (and Twitter to some extent although nowhere near as much) I now have several things I check for before I follow them back in case they turn out to be pervy. I’m usually pretty much spot on with this, because when I don’t follow them back, a day or two later, the message request comes.
Doing this has also taken me down another quite cynical path. Actually, I’m not sure this one is cynical because they’re so blatant about it. I know pretty much by glancing over the account which ones will unfollow me on Instagram within forty-eight hours of me following them back.
This one is definitely up there with the others. Like do they not know people know what game they’re playing? I just find it rude, and yes, kind of entitled. Do people really think that they’re so important that strangers should help them bump their follower numbers and engagement when they clearly have no intention of returning the favour?
I haven’t quite reached the cynical enough level that I ignore them all. I mean some are genuine and have a lot of followers because their accounts rock and I always want to support fellow bloggers and writers who are genuine.
Believe it or not, I actually love social media but like anything, there are some people who just ruin it for everyone else. Anyway, I’m going to stop ranting now. I might just go and update my Facebook page š
Anyone else finding this is a constant issue? Let me know in the comments š
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Yes!!! I get so many in one day that most of the time I donāt even look at them. Instagram is the worst for these messages for me. I get at least 5 to 6 hello beautiful messages a day. Or just hi. Like seriously, thatās all you have to say? Dude you need to drastically step it up if you are trying to get my attention! And the other sales pitch ones drive me crazy. I get these really long messages that start with complimenting my feed then right into āwill you by my product please?ā Um, no. Iām good thanks. And as for returning favors I get on Facebook all the time people inviting me to like their blog pages but when I send them one they donāt accept. I stopped doing that myself because it just doesnāt feel very genuine but Iāve also stopped accepting myself unless they are someone whose page I really like and I k ow what theyāre about. Iām right there with you Debbie. It does get to the point sometimes where Some days Iām just over it. Youāre not alone with this. I definitely feel your irritation with social media.
I’m so glad it’s not just me that feels this way about it all sometimes. It’s so frustrating isn’t it!
Yes, I have been having a lot of trouble with Facebook unwanted Follow me messages, usually single, divorced or widowed men who seem to have nothing in common with my interests. I have also had lots of spam from google +.
Yes and you wonder how they even found you lol! Touch wood I don’t seem to have it on G+
I have yet to get a pervy message on any social media. A bit strange given how many people I know who get them all the freaking time. If I figure out my secret, I will share so others can be spared the cringe.
For me, social media seems to be full of people screaming and outraged at each other. There’s not much social in social media anymore.
I definitely need to know your secret! Yes, Twitter is always outraged at something, usually something that is so minor it’s not even a thing. I tend to find that kind of funny though lol.
Hari OM
Nope… because I don’t do any of them. Blogger is the only ‘social’ media in which I engage and even then, not to the extent of some. I recently lamented that quite a lot of blogs have ‘gone commercial’. I continue to follow a few that I have known for some years, but definitely dropped back from visits and comments when they are pushing product. Using the inbuilt mechanisms of Google, I have also, (not completely, but absolutely minimum) almost eradicated bothersome commenters. As you do, I do not automatically follow those who follow me. Even those I follow myself, I do not feel obliged to always be commenting, even though I may read every post. Not everything needs a response and I will only give one where I actually have thoughts – like today here!!!
Am like that in ‘real life’ too… will always be polite, but am not automatically a ‘bff’ to anyone!!! There’s sociability and there’s boundary-breaking. The current media swamp seems to somehow remove boundaries and that is why, in recent times, moves are started to try and reassert them.
Sending regards – your ever reading not always commenting blogpal, YAM xx (&*>)
I’m the same with blogs – if I commented on every post I read I wouldn’t have time to do anything else lol x
How Not to Sell Your Product (and Yourself) - My Random Musings
[…] my last post, I talked about why social media is making me cynical. One of the main reasons for this is the constant harassment to buy this, that or the other. So many […]
I agree Debbie! I find the sponsored posts the most annoying thing. I have to wade through posts I actually do not want to see just to get to my friends. I’m all for paid promotion, but there are just so many now. #AnythingGoes
I would happily pay a monthly subscription fee to opt out of all of the ads
I used to think I wouldn’t, but now I definitely think I’d pay a fee to opt out. #BloggerClubUK
So very true. I try to have fun with social media and don’t take things seriously on there. #anythinggoes
Yeah me too, but it still gets old quickly when you’re deleting multiples of these every day
I spend a lot less time on social media than I used to, and use it to promote much less. What made me cynical was the constant need to pay to have my stuff seen. Little guy got completely squeezed out. I think the end of SU really was the beginning of the end for me #anythinggoes
Yeah it’s all about the money now that’s for sure. I so miss SU
I don’t use IG – mainly because I don’t take photos or have anything to share on it. The number of women who’ve commented about yucky males following them makes me really glad I’ve never bothered creating an account. FB is mainly ads and sponsored stuff, but I can scroll past that and I don’t get followed by weirdos, so I still like it. It’s a crazy world out there and I think we all need to be careful who we let get close to us.
I’m not really a fan of IG, but it’s one of those things I just put up with for the sake of the blog (the site itself not the pervs). Yeah it’s not so bad on FB because as you say, you can just ignore the ads
Oh my goodness. My linked in messages are just full of sakes people who are trying to sell me their agency. Iām so bored of it!
#AnythingGoes
I hardly even bother going on there now because of it
I am not on IG. I was considering it to promote my blog, but now I doubt if I will get on. I like Twitter. It’s fast, fun and the people I follow are mostly runners, so it’s a very supportive, positive group. Sorry to read about your negative experience. Social media tends to be a time-waster for me.
I love Twitter. And don’t let me put you off IG, it does have it’s uses especially if your blog is big on photography.
On Instagram I have found particularly bad, I just delete and block and forget about it X #anythinggoes
I have been hit with a lot of spam lately. The creepy perv kind. Ruins it for all. #anythinggoes
So true
How true! I’m not a big fan of social media and only use them for giveaways.
#AnythingGoes
Other than blogging, I’m not a big fan of social media. They seem to be big time wasters to me. #AnythingGoes
They are a time suck, but it’s a necessary evil lol
I rarely check my messages – I enjoy the comments but scan the messages and only open the ones I think I’d be interested in. Mainly from women I have a relationship with or brands. It’s all got a bit tedious though hasn’t it! xx
I think I might start doing the same! x
I 100% agree. I am always suspicious of DMs! And I absolutely hate it when people try to get me to sign up to some “work from home and make millions, it’s so easy” schemes.
#anythinggoes
Yes! If it was that easy, they’d be too busy selling their amazing products to have to worry about recruiting others.
I’m with you on this totally. It’s spam of a whole other nature! I hate the ads, I hate the disgusting creepy messages. I promote my blog posts through Insta so I have no choice but to grin and bear it! #AnythingGoes
Same here, but I would never bother with a personal IG account.
I’m fairly new to Instagram, so I haven’t encountered that yet, but I’ve decided to only follow accounts that I’m genuinely interested in, rather than follow back everyone who follows me. What I’m tired of are selfies. So many people just post pictures of themselves, which I find narcissistic. It drives me crazy. Discovering the mute function has saved my sanity. No matter how much I like you, I don’t need to see a different selfie of your face every day. Congrats, you have a face! We all do.
As for Facebook, I rarely bother with my newsfeed now because it’s always:
– horrible thing Trump is doing/has done
– horrible thing that happened to POC
– school shooting
– species going extinct
– my pet has died
– “If you do this/are friends with this person/vote this way I’m going to unfriend you” threats
– “I’m going to unfriend everyone who doesn’t spark joy” threats
– this person is horrible and we should all unfriend and ostracize him without hearing his side of the story
– complaints about how horrible Facebook is
I should really do that too, but I feel horrible if a blogger or writer follows me and I don’t follow them back (unless it’s clear they’re playing a game). Yeah FB can be really depressing, I tend to stick to groups and pages on there.
I cannot understand unsolicited guff pushing some product or service. I am immediately suspicious and irritated by the waste of space, fearing I might miss something important! Also often they push something I have already bought or have sorted already. So why do this and just annoy people! #BloggerClubUK
Totally agree!
I agree with you – I get lots of ‘hello beautiful’ messages and followers on insta – and I block anyone who does that follow unfollow malarky – I’ve always been a bit cynical about most things online – and all the fake news too.
#bloggerclubUK
Oh I never even thought of the fake news, but that totally bugs me too!