When I watch a TV show that I get into, I get really too into it. To the point where it bothers me more than it should if characters do or say things that don’t fit their character’s at all with no clear motivation.
I didn’t realise how bad I was for this until I read an article a while ago about the reasons why certain TV show characters are bad boyfriends. I felt myself getting more and more annoyed by this article. Honestly, you would think whoever wrote it was attacking personal friends rather than fictional characters.
I didn’t leave a comment on the article simply because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a bit mad. As a fiction writer I think I get way too involved with the aspects of fictional characters, but because you all know this already (and may or may not think I’m a little mad) I thought I would share some of my thoughts about it here.
There where a few people in the article I didn’t much care about one way or the other and a lot I hadn’t heard of, so I’m only talking about the ones I’d heard of/had a real opinion on.
The Ones I Agreed With:
Ross Geller (Friends)
I definitely think Ross was an awful boyfriend to Rachel. Not because of the whole “we were on a break” thing. For me, they weren’t together and Ross had every right to do whatever he wanted with any consenting adult in that time period.
The reason he was a bad boyfriend in my opinion was the way he constantly acted superior to Rachel and the way he always sort of gave me the impression that her dreams and aspirations where second to his. It was the final straw when she got off the plane and at no point did he even consider going to Paris with her.
She should have stuck with Joey (sorry).
Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother)
I might be a bit biased here because I found Ted to be an annoying character all around. I always found him to be really judgemental towards everyone. I think as a boyfriend he was very needy and emotionally immature. It would also be a red flag that he was always obsessed with Robin.
I really hated the way the show ended too. It did nothing to improve my opinion of him when he decided it was ok to get with his best friend’s ex-wife.
Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl)
At first, I disagreed with this one. Sure Chuck was manipulative and self-centred, but so was Blair (I think she was actually worse than him). For me, their relationship worked in a twisted way and I liked them together. It was obvious that he really did love Blair, even if he had a funny way of showing it sometimes.
But then the article reminded me that in the very first episode, Chuck tried to rape Jenny. That’s not something you should forget, but as the show went on, he kind of grows on you and you do forget. But the reminder was all I needed to agree that he is indeed a bad choice for a boyfriend.
The One I’m On The Fence About
Harvey Specter (Suits)
The reasons the article gave for Harvey being a bad boyfriend was the way he didn’t support Scotty at work. Personally, I think work is work and life is life. If you can’t separate the two, you should probably not get into a relationship with someone you work with.
In theory, Harvey has the qualities to be a good boyfriend. He’s fiercely loyal and faithful for starters. The problem is that Donna will always come first. Like always.
So I’m on the fence about him. If you’re Donna, Harvey would be the best boyfriend ever. If you’re not Donna, then I don’t think it would be so great.
The Ones I Disagreed With
Hook (Once Upon a Time)
The article said that Hook changed Emma. In a sense he did. He made her feel secure enough that when she had problems, she didn’t want to run away. He softened her in a way that she stopped being emotionally closed off and bottling up her emotions. I don’t see this as a bad thing.
Sure it took away a bit of her edge, but it opened up a whole new side to her character. I think the person writing the article shipped the whole Emma and Regina thing and that’s why they decided Hook was bad for Emma.
Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)
I think people who think Damon was bad don’t really get the character.
Yes, he killed people, often because he was annoyed about something and they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not saying this is a good trait to look for in a life partner, but let’s be honest: he’s a vampire. It’s in his nature to kill.
So why isn’t he a bad boyfriend? Well, he genuinely did try to rein in the killing because he knew it made Elena have to choose between her love for him and her morals. He wanted to be a better person for her.
But the clincher for me was quite early on when there was a big possibility Elena was going to die. Stefan, her boyfriend at the time, pretty much shrugged his shoulders and said “your choice” and sat back and watched the events unfold because he was so scared she would hate him if he acted.
Damon on the other hand took action. Action he knew Elena wouldn’t like and could easily end up with her hating him for all eternity. To give someone a chance to live hating you rather than to die loving you is real love.
He put her life above anyone and anything, including himself. He was willing to literally go to hell for her and several times he sacrificed his own life to save hers. Even when he returned from the dead (which actually wasn’t death but a prison world) and she didn’t remember loving him, he didn’t give up on her.
If that makes someone a bad boyfriend, I’d love to know what more you could do to be a good boyfriend.
If you can’t tell, I was very much team Damon.
Michael Scofield (Prison Break)
This one really got my blood boiling. Hook and Damon had pretty shady pasts and they did have their moments where you thought it was all going to end in tears, but Michael was undoubtedly the good guy.
He manipulated people to an extent but it was all for the greater good. And yes, he stabbed T-Bag in the back but the guy was a paedophile so are we really going to condemn him for that?
The article stated that Michael was a bad boyfriend because he lied to Sarah and ruined her career.
At first, he didn’t tell her the whole truth, but he was a prisoner and she was the prison doctor. He didn’t know her or know what she would do with the truth.
He did not ruin her career. By the time she left the door unlocked, he had told her everything. She had seen the evidence and knew as well as he did that an innocent man would be given the death penalty if she didn’t act.
And let’s not forget he went to prison in Panama for a murder she committed, broke her out of prison later on even though he thought he would end up dead and then faked his own death and went to prison in Yemen to keep her and their child safe.
Yeah, he’s just awful!
Well I feel much better now I’ve got all of that out.
Which of these do you agree/disagree with? Let me know in the comments 🙂