I’ve noticed a lot when I’ve been talking about writing fiction that a lot of the comments I get are from people saying 
they’d love to do it, but they don’t have the confidence to go for it.
I would love to tell you all I’m super confident in my writing, but I’ll be honest – I’m not.
We all have moments of self doubt, but what’s important is that you don’t let those moments stop you from doing what you love.
There’s a million and one things people tell you – write what you know, write daily, join critique groups – they are all valid advice to some extent, but the truth is, none of those things are going to make you feel confident.
Confidence comes from within. You don’t have to believe you’re Shakespeare, but you do have to believe that your story is worth telling – if you don’t believe it’s worth telling, why would anyone believe it’s worth reading?
So, assuming you have found the right story – one you truly believe in – and wrote it, what’s next?
Now, you have to bite your lip, screw your eyes up and just do it.
At this point, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You know the real beauty of pitching to agents, publishers etc? It’s not face to face. It’s done online, usually via email. So the trick is to pretend you’re confident.
Pitch that story like it’s the best book ever written. If it helps, imagine a friend wrote it and you’re trying to sell it for them. What would you tell someone? What’s its USP? Why should they invest in it?
Remember, the person reading your pitch can’t see that your twiddling with your hair and nervously clenching your hands up. They can’t see you blush when they ask a question, cringe when you tell them how fabulous the book is or hear you stutter when you try to give an elevator pitch.
Once you start making money from your writing, your confidence will grow, so think of these first steps as building blocks for your confidence. If you can successfully fake confidence in the beginning, before long, you’ll realise it’s not fake anymore.
When I first started out freelance ghost writing, I was absolutely terrified.
Do you think clients I was pitching to knew that? Of course they didn’t. I pitched to the clients as if I was a total pro and knew exactly what I was doing. And they hired me.
And as they hired me, and told me they loved my work, leading to several of them re-hiring me, my confidence grew. And now when I pitch for a job, I actually feel confident that the client will like what I write for them.
The most important thing is to just go for it – Nothing will come of that fantastic manuscript if you leave it in a drawer somewhere.
Some things to remember:
- You WILL get rejections. They aren’t rejecting you personally, just the opportunity to work with you. And they
aren’t saying your story is terrible, just that it’s not for them. We all have different tastes and its far better to get rejections until you find the one who you just click with. - There will always be haters. It doesn’t matter how good you are, there’s always people who won’t like what you write. Whether that’s trolls just out to cause trouble, jealous people, or genuine people who just feel its not their thing, getting negative feedback can be tough. Try to remember its only that person’s opinion – there’s a fair chance they aren’t an expert and are only judging the story based on their own personal taste. Don’t let this put you off – if anything, use it to motivate you to prove them wrong.
You will have to put yourself out there, leaving you open to the things mentioned above. Be positive, even in the face of negativity. And be honest with yourself – maybe that negative comment raises a fair point. Use it to your advantage and don’t make the same mistakes twice.
As I said, there will always be people that put you down – don’t be one of them.
I know from experience, when I mention my books, for some reason, I’m always tempted to follow it up with something like “It’s not very good”. I resist the urge, because let’s face it, even your most loyal supporters aren’t going to be in a hurry to read your stuff if you tell them it’s not good.
I think this is a defence mechanism – if I get in first, then if someone else says it isn’t very good, it doesn’t matter because I said it first. It’s a ridiculous attitude, and one I’m eager to lose to be honest!
And if all else fails, put on your big girl (or boy) panties, add a dash of lippy and smile, because you are worth the effort, you are deserving of good things, and your writing is valid and deserves to be seen.
Do you struggle with confidence? Do you have any tips to share on how you built your confidence? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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The only way to build your confidence is to do it. And keep doing it. Starting is the hardest part.
I totally agree – starting can feel so daunting, but once you get going, it’s amazing!
What a great post. The part that has particularly stuck a cord with me which I will remember is where you suggest imagining the writing has been written by your closest friend.
Angela x
Thank you 🙂 I’m glad you found it useful x
I can definitely relate to this post. The amount of posts I have that are half written just because I doubt myself. It’s like the first 2 or 3 paragraphs I fly thru and then I start to doubt what I’ve wrote and what I’m gonna write and then I stop writing. It’s something that I’m definitely trying to work on xx
I can definitely relate to this post. The amount of posts I have that are half written just because I doubt myself. It’s like the first 2 or 3 paragraphs I fly thru and then I start to doubt what I’ve wrote and what I’m gonna write and then I stop writing. It’s something that I’m definitely trying to work on xx #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I find the best way to deal with that is to just finish and hit publish. Some of the posts I’ve felt this way about how turned out to be some of my most popular posts! x
I love this post, thank you for writing it! sometimes it can be so hard to have faith in yourself xx #bloggerclubuk
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 It really can! x
I think the ‘fake it until you make it’ approach can be applied to many aspects of life. When I first started selling my crochet work I thought they were rubbish and no one would want them, but I still told everyone they were brilliant 😊
#Bloggerclubuk
It sounds like you’ve got it sussed – that’s the way to sell 🙂
Love this – it’s so empowering! Odd as it may sound, but I feel most confident when I do write; I let all the words, thoughts and feelings tumble out with no worries. But as you say, it’s the pitching and selling yourself which can be so daunting. I really needed to read this today – thank you so much for sharing xx #BloggerClubUK
Thank you, I’m really glad it found you at the right time 🙂 The selling yourself is hard! I love that you feel so happy in your writing process, that will go a long way to boosting your confidence!
Great post…and you’re right, you shouldn’t let a lack of confidence stop you from what you want to do. Starting is the hard part! #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I agree – starting really is the hardest part!
I feel really embarrassed when someone I know says that they have read my blog. I just feel that it isn’t very good and I really lack the confidence in my writing. This post as made me feel better, I am am going to put on my big girl panties from now on #BloggerClubUK
When I first started my blog, I told very few people about it for that very reason (now I feel like its been going on too long to suddenly start telling people). I’m glad this helped 🙂
I’m terrible for doubting myself, but I find it’s so much easier when I only need to email people rather than phone them or talk in person. It gives me the time to think about what I really want to say and then I can sound confident (even though I don’t feel it!) #BloggerClubUK
I completely agree – email is definitely your friend when you’re a bit nervous!
Good advice. I’m terrible for abandoning things I’ve written because I think they’re rubbish. It’s a hard habit to break.
#BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 Its such a hard habit to break, I think its a matter of just doing it and hoping for the best sometimes!
I would love to write a book but confidence is the one thing stopping me. You are so right though…. Nothing to loose and everything to gain!
#BloggerClubUK
Go for it! Don’t let fear stop you chasing your dreams 🙂
This is great and I can relate to this post so much. I have written a few posts but find I doubt myself in thinking that many won’t get it. But I have found that if you ask for a friends advice before posting it can help. #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I used to think like that in the beginning, now I publish first and worry later 😉 It is good if a friend can have a read before posting though
Didn’t JK Rowling get rejected about 36 times? I think people should really remember that and just keep going. Someone special will notice special writing. Great tips 🙂 #bloggerclubuk
I’m not sure of the exact figure but yeah, it was a fair few – it just goes to show that it truly is in the eye of the beholder. I bet a lot of literary agents/publishers are kicking themselves now! Thank you 🙂
Great tips here, as always! As they say fake it unit you make it and success breeds success! #bloggerclubuk
Thank you 🙂 Love that – success does indeed breed success!
love and your so right in every point great post lets hope it helps lots of people #bloggerclubuk
Thank you 🙂 Yes, I hope so!
I battle with this on a daily basis and I hate myself for needing external validation. I should have more confidence in my own writing and writing for myself. I hear you about just doing it. The more you do it, the more you build your confidence and yes, must develop a thick skin! Another tip would be to surround yourself with encouraging and supportive friends. That goes a long long way. #bloggerclubuk
It shocks me when great writers say they have these issues too. I guess its a curse of the job for want of a better term. I agree, the support of friends can be invaluable when you’re down about your writing, especially an honest friend that will tell you what you could improve on 🙂
I’m new to the blogging scene and it’s taken me quite a while to build the confidence to get started! Some great tips 🙂 #BloggerClubUK
Welcome to the blogosphere! Good on you for starting and good luck with it. Thank you 🙂
I am really struggling with this at the moment. I have just started a freelance writing course and I am struggling to think I have anything relevant anyone would want to read. Not good for just starting out. Thanks for the advice. #BloggerClubUK
Everyone has a story worth telling and I can guarantee you that somewhere out there are the people who will want to read it. You just need to take the plunge! The course sounds like a good tool to build your confidence – go in with an open mind 🙂
Doing it and knowing that everyone else is nervous too when they start out. I remember being terrified about my first blog going out, then it was my first linky that scared me and of course a few nerves at my first book. But it has got easier. I think it is like that with any walk of life but i guess with something creative it can feel quite exposing. Great post and good advice. Thanks. #BloggerclubUK
Yes, I think sometimes we forget everyone has had (or still does have) these same feelings. I think it does get better with time, but as you say, with something creative you are really putting yourself out there and that can be scary. Thank you 🙂
Great advice, a real confidence boosting read!
#BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂
A brilliant post, getting started is the hardest thing, like with any business, yu have to believe in what you are selling to make a success of it and if you are selling yourself and your ability then believe in it! #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I love that way of thinking of it – its a great way to start getting that self belief!
This whole writing experience has been so bipolar. The highs are so high There are weeks where my traffic is great, articles get snatched right up and I am feeling so confident. Then there are weeks where I think everything I write is crap and I get rejection after rejection.
That’s so true, it does seem to come in stages. It feels like nothing’s changed but suddenly you have no readers! I guess we just have to learn to trust that they will come back 🙂
There is so much good advice here. I really appreciate you sharing it. It is hard to take criticism and rejection, but you put it into perspective. Alison x #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 It is hard to take, but you just have to shrug it off! x
This is so true, and not just for writing, but for all sorts of ways we portray ourselves. Thank you for the tips! #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 yes, it could definitely relate to other areas of our lives too!
This is a great post and something I can completely relate to. Although I used to be very confident in my writing I think having children and just life in general has knocked my confidence a little in this area of my life and I do second guess myself quite often. I try not to let it affect my writing but sometimes I hold back through lack of confidence. Thank you for sharing this. #BloggerclubUK
Thank you 🙂 I think confidence levels can go up and down, and it can definitely affect our writing if we hold back!
Hmm yes I think I’m guilty of not having confidence in myself. It’s so annoying as I think it holds me back. This is a great post with some fab tips to aim for. #bloggerclubuk
I really hope it helps – it can be frustrating when there’s so much you want to do, but that little voice in your head stops you!
Great post! Fear of judgement, the unknown and generally fear itself holds so many of us back. I agree that confidence definitely comes from within and sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it 😉 Emily #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I definitely fake it some days! But I no longer let that fear stop me 🙂
Fab advice, especially the part about not taking rejections personally! x #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 x
I TRY not to overthink it and to write for fun but I don’t think any of us are immune to self-doubt at times. I still feel a wave of nerves every time I submit a new post. Lots of nice tips here – thank you!! 🙂 #BloggerClubUK
I agree – we are all prone to self doubt, and I don’t think those nerves ever fully go away! Thank you 🙂
Such a useful post. As a newbie blogger I’m just getting used to writing frequently and receiving feedback. I’ve had an idea for a book for a while, but quite frankly when I tried to write it I didn’t have a clue what I was doing! Hopefully the more I blog, the more my confidence will grow. #BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 You will definitely find your confidence grows with blogging. As for the book, the best advice I can give you is to just do it! Remember, it’s only a first draft – once you’ve got it all written down you can go back and polish it. Good luck!
Loved your post! my hubby is a filmmaker with so many stories, and half of them not finished yet, but we were actually talking about how to pitch to netflix the other day. I will share your post to him! It has very good tips. Confidence needs to be the starting point. For me, it’s more about “closing my eyes” and click “Publish” and let it be whatever! if I feel good about my content then it’s ok.
#BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 Pitching to Netflix, how exciting! Wishing your hubby the best of luck and I really hope this helps!
Haha, I often do the close me eyes and hit publish thing on here too!
With my blog I do worry a lot, probably because it is so personal and because the focus is something which matters so much to my son.
#BloggerClubUK
I agree – I think the more personal a topic is, the more nerve wracking it can be!
My confidence wobbles sometimes but I’ve found just to keep writing the best way to get on with it! Seems to work. #bloggerclubuk
Great way to look at it – just power through, I like it 🙂
Great advice, I especially like the bit about no-one being able to see you, that’s always helped me. Can’t offer any further advice as confidence is still something I really struggle with, but I am getting better the more I actually write.
#BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 Yes, that helps me a lot too. I think your confidence does grow a lot as you write more and get more comfortable with it!
Hi Debbie, I loved the bit where you said you are tempted to tell people what you’ve written isn’t very good… And that’s exactly what I’m trying not to do. Although I tend to add it’s nothing special, then I realise I’m actually putting my own work down and whilst it may not be wonderful, it’s taken a lot of time and effort!
As for confidence? Or lack of it? It’s something I’ve suffered with all my life, but I just do it anyway… Does that confidence wobble before you hit the publish button ever really get any less wobbly?
#BloggersClubUK
It’s so good to hear I’m not the only person that tends to do this! It’s a hard habit to break, but like you said, the time and effort alone make it worthwhile someone reading it!
Haha, I don’t think it will ever fully stop wobbling!
This is a great post. I’m not very confident and think a lot of my posts are probably crap. But I’m learning to write for me. For the memories and for keeping my skills up. I dedinitely need some confidence but I’m finding that joining in with linkies is helping.
#BloggerClubUK
Thank you 🙂 I’m sure your posts aren’t crap! Linkies are a good way to boost your confidence, because once you’ve been joining in a while, you start to see the same people commenting, meaning they’ve sought out your post 🙂
A great post with good advice. I really need to boost my confidence, probably in every aspect of my life, and it’s not an easy thing to do. It means changing the whole way I think. #BloggerClubUK
It’s not easy, but I think the results will make the hard work worth it! x
Ahh I’m so guilty of telling people my blog isn’t very good so I can get in there before they do! Definitely need to work on my confidence when it comes to my writing..I like the whole fake it till you make it attitude xx #BloggerClubUK
I’m glad I’m not the only one who does that! x
Fiction = terrifying!! I’m definitely in the ‘not confident enough’ boat on this one but who knows, maybe one day! Thanks for the tips #AnythingGoes
Go for it, you’ve got nothing to lose!
Great Post. I have to learn how to pitch which is a major weak point for me and my confidence. #anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 Once you know what you need to work on, you’re half way there!
Just popping back from #anythinggoes x
R u working on anything new right now?
How is Joker promo going?
#anythinggoes
I’m currently working on Twisted Tales 2, a new collection of short stories which I hope to release at the end of November 🙂
The promo is going well – I brought in the pros in the end!
I found sharing my fiction the hardest. I could cope with criticism of my non-fiction writing because it didn’t feel so personal but fiction comes from deep inside and the criticism felt more personal. I’m actually getting used to it now. I did a really cheap on-line fiction writing course where I had to submit things to a tutor and that got me used to sharing. Now I’ll show anyone! I think it gets easier. Once you have some positive reactions they seem to shield you from the negative ones because at least you know that someone likes it! #AnythingGoes
I always fiction harder to share too, and I totally agree that the positive reactions do generally over power the negative ones 🙂
Loved reading your advice, especially around the haters – something I have thought about and written about myself!
#AnythingGoes
Thank you 🙂
I think it’s the same with anything isn’t it? You just have to go for it. I was the same with my first sponsored post, I was so nervous but I just went for it and it went really well. #anythinggoes
I agree – you do just have to go for it 🙂
Really good advice that can be applied to any aspect of life really – just have to be mindful that not everyone is going to like what we do in life – as you say ‘there’s always going to be haters’. Love your determination and perseverance. #AnythingGoes
Thank you 🙂 Yes, whatever we do, there will be someone who doesn’t like it, but that’s life!
popping back from #bloggerclubuk
Great advice! I might even pin this to my wall! #anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 I’m glad it helped!
I have learned that almost everyone struggles with lack of confidence sometimes. I have also learned that people who never lack confidence are really arrogant, dangerous in the work place, and generally not very nice people.
I think that failure is really important for us to succeed. We learn from our mistakes. If we lack enough confidence to even try then we will never learn. It is a finely balanced thing, but failure can be a very good thing. Having enough confidence to try, fail, pick yourself up and learn is the route to success.
thanks for this post Debbie. I found it really interesting.
Pen x
#AnythingGoes
I completely agree – there’s often a fine line between confidence and arrogance! And failure is often the thing that pushes us to be better and ultimately leads us to success.
Thank you 🙂
This is fab – I think it makes total sense what you say about confidence. Sometimes you just have to get it written and revise it afterwards. I love your advice on rejection too, as that would be one of the main reasons I wouldn’t pursue pitching a fiction idea. Thanks for hosting #anythinggoes
Thank you 🙂 The rejections are hard at first, but you just have to shrug them off and move on!
Such brilliant advice from a brilliant lady! Thank you so much xx
Thank you, hope it helps! x