Saying new beginnings aren’t always necessary might seem a little odd considering this month’s theme is new beginnings. Allow me to explain.
First up, I don’t think “starting over” is a bad thing. If something or someone is having a negative impact on your life, I would say remove that thing or person from your life. Life is difficult enough without adding to it.
So January rolls around, and we do the obligatory life audit, and set some goals. We then call it a new beginning.
If using the term motivates you to achieve those goals, then by all means use it.
Let’s be honest, it would be nice sometimes to be able to start over. To erase all those bad memories and bad decisions and have a clean slate unsullied by mistakes and wrong turns.
So why then would I say new beginnings aren’t always necessary? Because realistically they aren’t.
There is really no such thing as a new beginning – you can begin a new chapter of your life, re-invent yourself, cut out all the negativity and rock those goals.
That is not a new beginning – it is a curve in a continuous path, a cross roads where you chose the right path, but it’s not a new beginning.
The term is a contradiction in itself – you can only begin something once, after that, you are continuing it, altering it, tweaking it, but you can never really begin it again.
You can only choose a better way, a path more suited to who you are today.
Now, this all sounds kind of negative, but here’s why it’s not.
Imagine for a moment you really could have a total new beginning, a fully blank slate. There’s two things wrong with that:
- Not only would this erase all the negative things, it would also erase all the positive things, because if it didn’t, it wouldn’t be a new beginning, it would be an altered path on the original journey.
- If you started over from scratch, how would you know to avoid all those mistakes you’ve already made? One of the most important things we can do is to learn from past mistakes. If you started over, then you would have no memories of those mistakes so there would be a fair chance you would make them all again.
Don’t seek a new beginning, seek a path full of positivity – a path where you meet your goals and live your dreams. Seek a mind set that gives you the confidence to admit to past mistakes, forgive yourself and move on, ensuring you don’t make those same mistakes again.
What do you think? Would you still like a new beginning? Do you think erasing the past would make you more likely to enjoy the future or more likely to repeat your mistakes? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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There are plenty of things I’d probably do different, but there are also things that I wouldn’t appreciate as much now without having gone down the road I’ve travelled. I’m definately more of a believer in re-evaluating my reasons for taking certain paths and trying to take the correct one next time, as opposed to turning around and starting from scratch
Me too, because without the hindsight, I know I would have all the same thought processes and do the same stupid things over again, no matter how much I try to convince myself that isn’t true!
yea, chances seem pretty high I wouldn’t be a ton smarter next time around
Pretty sure I wouldn’t be either!
I totally agree. One incredibly difficult and frustrating experience comes to mind. Part of it was my fault, another was the fault of someone with a cold heart. I’d never want to repeat the experience. Ever. But I wouldn’t erase it either. I learned quite a few valuable lessons from it, and I believe that I’m a better person having gone through it. #AnythingGoes
I feel exactly the same about one of my biggest mistakes. In one sense I’d love to wipe it from my memory forever, but in another, I grew as a person a lot as a result of it and I wouldn’t want to change that 🙂
Wow! I never thought about that before but now that you say it, it makes perfect sense. I always say that I’m starting a new chapter, which is the beginning of a new path but not to erase the old path. I see it as I have come to the end of the road and it’s time to choose a different road to continue my journey. I can’t forget my past because it made me who I am. I have learned a lot in this life from all of the mistakes I have made along the way but as you said, there are some really great memories too that I cherish and don’t want to forget them. This is a great way explain what “new beginning” actually means! Thanks Debbie. #anythinggoes
It’s only recently I’ve began to see it this way, I have used the term new beginning myself loads of times. I don’t know really what it was but something just sort of clicked that I don’t want a new beginning, I just want to forge a new path for the future. I totally agree, even through the bad times, there are the odd good memories that I wouldn’t want to lose. Thank you 🙂
Completely agree with you that it can be helpful language, but that you can’t erase what’s gone before. You can change how you feel about it, which is maybe the most important element? #AnythingGoes
Great point Luke, if we can find a way to look back on mistakes and not berate ourselves, but instead accept they were a vital part of growing up and changing then maybe that’s the answer.
Another brilliant post. I love reading your blog, your posts are always so well written and give me something to think about. I wouldn’t want to erase my past, there are things I wished didn’t happen and decisions I wish I had and hadn’t made but I wouldn’t be where I am now without those things. I am really happy with my life now but I know this is because I am able to fully appreciate what I have because life has not always been this way. I think even if we could completely start again, life would never be perfect because we would still make mistakes second time around. Mistakes help us learn and grow, I don’t think they are always a bad thing.xx #anythinggoes
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoy my posts 🙂 I totally agree – sometimes the bad decisions turn out to not be so bad because they send us down a path that later on becomes the perfect path for us x
We always watch It’s a Wonderful Life at Christmas. (Rev T insists). That illustrates your point beautifully as if George hadn’t been born, so many other good things wouldn’t have happened.
As life doesn’t come with an undo button, you’ve just got to make the best of what you’ve been given I think
I haven’t actually seen it (I know I should!) but it sounds like it does make the same point. I totally agree – time spent thinking “what if” is just wasting more time on something rather than moving forward.
I totally agree with you Debbie! We can’t think what if we had a blank slate or what if we changed a decision in life because it’d be a domino effect & we’d lose all of the positive & special moments along with the negative. #AnythingGoes
Exactly, all the little moments combine to lead us to where we are today and if we lost or changed some of them, we would be different people today.
I sometimes think about this in the quiet hours of the night when I cant sleep, what I would do differently if I could go back and start again, but in truth as you say you the good and the bad are intertwined along the same path, and that path has led me to some wonderful moments and my wonderful hubby, so how could I possibly want to change that. #anythinggoes
There’s a lot of things I wish I didn’t do but I did and I just have to make peace with them. All experiences, good and bad, make us who we are today. When you think something as seemingly inconsequential as walking down a different street on a certain day could change your fate and mean you didn’t meet your hubby, why would anyone want to mess with that!
Yes, I agree with you. And, while there are lots of things I wish I had done differently, I do know that if I had, everything would be different. Which would mean that I wouldn’t have my kids. Kids maybe, but not these ones. So I would not want a new beginning, much as I would like some things to have been different. (& to be younger again!) #anythinggoes
That’s true, to change your past would mean you wouldn’t have your kids so all those things you would want to change actually turned out to be good as they meant you ended up where you are now. I like the idea of being younger again though lol 🙂
I would only go back if I could keep the knowledge of what I have learned along the way and make different choices. I think that when we are young we seem to have this thought in our teenage heads that we know everything about life. I didn’t know a damn thing about life up until about 30. And even after 30 there are some things I wish I could change. Good point of thought. Thanks again for hostessing #AnythingGoes.
Yes, I would love to be 16 again knowing what I know now! I agree about the teenage years, and it takes a long time to realise how wrong we were! Thank you 🙂
I love the point you are making, yes bringing new positive possibilities into your life certainly is great I think we fail in our “New Year Resolutions because they are usual so drastic and so life changing
Thank you 🙂 Yes, I agree – it is much easier to stick to realistic goals
Found your blog through #AnythingGoes
This is great way of looking at things. The bad and the good make you who you are you can change direction but if you erase the good and the bad then whats the point :). Totally agree and a thought provoking post. Thank you for hosting #AnythingGoes xx
That’s it, if you erase everything, then you’re not you anymore. Thank you and thanks for linking up 🙂 x