My Non-Negotiable List

The non-negotiable list is a tag originally started by Kate from Pouting in Heels.

The aim of the list is to include all the things you want to be non-negotiable things in your life, like spending time with your partner, or having some me time, rather than things that have to be non-negotiable for the majority of us like going to work.

I was tagged by Laura from Life With Baby Kicks. I read Laura’s post and I thought the non-negotiable list was a brilliant idea.

Putting things in writing, especially in public, is a fantastic motivator to get them done (or at least it is for me).

With all of that in mind, I thought I would have no problems writing my non-negotiable list. I had a fair few ideas – blogging, reading more, bubble baths, walks, weekends away, making more time for family and friends etc.

When I sat down to start writing the list however, something occurred to me. All of the things on the list are things I do for pleasure. That’s sort of the point.

I realised that if I engrave these things in stone, then for me, they are no longer necessarily pleasurable. They become a chore, an item to tick off a to-do list.

I love a to-do list way more than is normal, ticking off the items, seeing my progress, but to-do lists are lists of tasks, not fun things.

So with that in mind, I won’t be writing a non-negotiable list in the traditional way. I don’t want to read two chapters of a book because my to-do list tells me it’s reading time. I don’t want to go for coffee with a friend because my to-do list says I have to. I want to do those things purely because I want to.

So my non-negotiable list is very short and simple:

Set aside 2 hours per non-work day to do anything at all that brings me pleasure. It might be something as non-productive as a Netflix binge, but it will be whatever I fancy doing in the moment at whatever time it takes my fancy.

For me, doing something fun is non-negotiable, but the actual activity and the time I do it will always remain negotiable.

Breaking the routine and doing something just for me in the moment is what makes it fun for me.

I realise I could have just wrote a list for the sake of the tag but doing so with no intentions of following it felt not only pointless, but like I was purposely misleading people somehow. I promised myself I would always be honest on this blog, even if that meant going against the majority, and it doesn’t seem very honest saying this is non-negotiable when I’ve already negotiated myself away from it in my head.

If you fancy writing your own list (I appreciate if you have children then scheduling in fun time might be the only way to make sure it actually happens) then consider yourself tagged.

If you accept the tag, the rules are:

Link back to Kate

Link back to the person who tagged you

Write your list

Tag some other people to write their lists

Thanks for the tag Laura.

I may not have written a list per se, but this tag really made me think about how I perceive things and what does and doesn’t work for me.

Do you think having a non-negotiable list would help you schedule in some time for yourself? Will you be writing one? Let me know in the comments 🙂

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